Not retiring: Time to reflect

I’m approaching 60, but I still feel like I’m mid-30s. I guess many people feel that way. I feel slightly more tired, although I think I was pretty tired back in my mid-30s. I could do with a sabbatical, but the kind of work I’m doing hasn’t changed essentially. Of course, there are different ways of doing it – more things like podcasts, social media postings and so forth – but the essential nature of the work of communicating stuff in whatever format hasn’t changed.

But while my children have grown up/are growing up, it feels like there is more life stuff around and more of a need to reflect on that. It’s not just dealing with teenagers, but also supporting friends and family through difficult times. How sustainable is it to keep charging on I often wonder. Around me I see lots of small teams doing way too much with people at breaking point. The sheer intensity of work has definitely increased and there is little time to reflect on anything at all.

I am also very much aware of other friends or relatives who have caring responsibilities for partners or older relatives. I was watching the Kate Garraway programme the other day and my partner said there had been criticism of her for doing the programme in the first place. I suppose there is criticism of everything these days, but I have less and less tolerance for it. For me Kate Garraway’s programmes are telling it like it is, showing what care looks like and how exhausting and messy and emotional it all is. They are putting a spotlight on care in a way that everyone can relate to.

Yet age brings with it greater understanding, I think, even if it is just about what you don’t know. There is less of a need to pretend or feel bad because no-one can know everything and many things tend to be a lot more complicated than you might have thought in your 20s. It’s a shame if, in all the rush, there is not time to harness that knowledge and hear more from those who have been through the mill. A few weeks ago a group of what I call veterans of flexible working and diversity work got together to look back at what has worked over the years, what hasn’t and where we go from here.

It was an interesting discussion, but what was most apparent was that people wanted to continue the discussion after the allotted time because they hadn’t really had the space to take a step back and talk about all the things they are dealing with every day with people who know what it’s like. We all need that time and space and we all benefit from it. Time is a hugely precious commodity and one which older people are perhaps more aware of than most and time for reflection is often undervalued, but absolutely necessary, enriching and sustaining.

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